It is my birthday this month and I will be turning 34. Looking back on this year I am astounded at the growth and transformation that has taken place in myself and in my relationships. That said, I think it’s important to also mention, it was NOT easy.
In today’s social media-drenched world, we often see the bright side of people’s lives. The posed, positioned and pretty pictures that they outwardly reflect. I, too, posted my life because there were such joyous times that were worth sharing. BUT, 2021 was also a year of internal work that was hella hard. There were no posts of the battles, the hard conversations, the building of self-discipline, the acceptance of disappointments, the moments of weakness, or the evolution of becoming more. Even the pictures in this very blog do not remind us that life (messy and uncomfortable) is happening at all times.
Adopting a minimalistic lifestyle in 2020 cleared out clutter and unnecessary mental noise. What I wasn’t prepared for was what I would need to focus on once the dust had cleared. Those spaces left room for me to wonder and wander.
By unburying myself from work and “things”, I started prioritizing what mattered.
My relationships took a front row seat and I soon realized that there was work to be done there.
My belief system and worldview met my eye, and I realized there was work to be done there.
My mental and physical health, which had constantly been shoved to the back, had room to walk forward. Again, I realized there was work to be done there.
The word that often comes to mind for this year is “transformational”. For years, I allowed myself to be distracted and bombarded and I enveloped myself in a scratchy blanket of status quo. I wrapped it tighter and tighter even though it didn’t feel right; even though I knew there was something more. All this because I didn’t want to risk the warmth it provided me, even if it was subpar.
At the age of 33, I realized I was lonely. Ravenous for meaningful relationships. Hungry for deep conversations. Thirsty for meaningful spirituality centered in love. Desiring more knowledge and more wisdom. I was malnourished for a truly rich existence. So, the work began. And, fuck, it was hard.
I still haven’t “arrived”; I’m still digging and exploring and facing the hard things that come along with truly loving and accepting yourself. I’m moving forward though, which is more than I can say for the last 5-7 years. And I am thankful.
I am thankful for this tiny lifestyle that I purposefully chose not even knowing it would lead to a holistic transformation. I am thankful for the loved ones that have embraced this journey with me. I am thankful for the boundaries that have been established that have brought peace and balance.
I encourage you, as we move into a new year, to commit to removing the clutter and chaos from your life (physical, mental, and emotional). Because when you do that, the pieces of you that make you whole can come forward and you can greet them with more patience and grace. Show up for yourself so you can be you. I have no idea what 2022 is going to bring, but I will be there; present and mindful of the work that continues. The work that truly matters.